Mention letting kids be free in the woods, and it's quite likely you'll hear a reference to the dystopian novel Lord of the Flies, by William Golding. Even classroom teachers will quip about unruly students by comparing them to Golding's dark story of boys gone wild and murderous with power. That's not to say that the novel doesn't draw on real human societal flaws, but when we look closely at how children behave when left to their own devices, there is much more to be learned, and not just by the observers. This week, when our campers played with the concept of heirarchy, among similar comments one parent's response to a letter we posted about it was "So, who's Piggy?"
Consider the real experience of six boys from the island of Haʻafeva, Tonga, who found themselves marooned on a small, desolate island for 15 months completely alone. Spoiler alert - smart and thoughtful Piggy doesn't get killed in the end, and power-hungry Jack never overthrows helpful leader Ralph. In fact, in the real-life version of the story, the kids all worked together to take care of one another peacefully, and were eventually found by an Australian fisherman who noticed from a distance the fire they'd built and maintained together for the duration of their stay. They'd also built chicken pens and a makeshift "gym" for staying fit... How's that for ingenuity and teamwork?
At camp, building and making things together (forts, bridges, dams...) are common, and we also occasionally see kids playing with the concept of hierarchy. When hierarchical structures form, what typically happens is more amenable to the Dr. Seuss story of Yertle the Turtle than Lord of the Flies. Both tales warn against the ugliness of WWII era fascism, but whereas William Golding took a strictly apocalyptic view (no doubt based on his time fighting the Nazis as a naval officer), Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss' real name) ends his with the line "And the turtles, of course all the turtles are free, as turtles, and maybe, all creatures should be."
Kids need freedom, too- freedom to test things out, to make mistakes, to make improvements and fix things themselves. When it comes to how we treat one another, it's the mistakes we make and the way we respond to how we acted that builds empathetic humans. At camp, we let the kids do just that, and we coach them through it.
Here is the open letter I wrote to our camp families earlier this week:
Wednesday, July 13, 2022
Yesterday at camp there were some behaviors we needed to address. I wanted to make this an open letter to all the parents to let you know, generally, what happened, why it happened, and how we’re addressing it.
This week, we have a few families who are familiar with one another, and requests were made to keep those children grouped together. We like to honor these requests whenever possible, and so we did, but not without reservation- We prefer to divide siblings into separate groups so that each one can have a chance to make new friends and have some personal space, unhindered by the all-too-common sibling rivalry dynamic. Altercations are a normal part of childhood development. Most altercations we see at camp happen when there is a power struggle between two or more kids who are vying for someone else’s attention, or when there is a competitive dynamic in play. It’s usually the one who feels excluded or who’s lost some kind of competition who lashes out, and frequently it’s a sibling. While this is not something all families experience, the benefit of separating siblings at camp is that each child can have an experience to grow and challenge themselves on a more personal, intrinsically rewarding level, away from the power struggle they may experience at home.
When parents ask to keep their kids together, we ask for more info on why, and we often try to convince them otherwise. Often when we “test the waters” it soon becomes clear that the children would do better apart.
Yesterday’s events were the result of a power dynamic among siblings and friends who, through their own self-guided play designed a hierarchy of power. In one group, some kids were “managers” and some were “janitors,” with other roles falling in between. A similar game was developed by the other group as well. As could be expected, some ill feelings resulted, and the tone that was set resulted in some kids physically lashing out at one another later in the day. These behaviors, while not what we like to see as parents and caregivers, are normal, and the social consequences are a learning opportunity for all involved.
We took the opportunity to discuss their behaviors and negative feelings with the involved individuals who were here today, and to have a broader conversation with the larger play groups reflecting on competition and hierarchy versus cooperation and collaboration. The conclusion was drawn that cooperative relationships resulting from cooperative play are better for everyone. I had the one-on-one conversations with the individuals, and the leadership team took the larger conversation to their groups for a broader discussion. The groups made a plan to focus more on collaborative forms of play today.
Relating to yesterday's events, I’d like to share with everyone this TED Talk by Dr. Peter Gray about self-directed play and why it’s so important to our children’s growth and development... It's about 15 minutes long, and is a good primer on why we operate our camp from a child-led approach:
About the Author:
“Ranger James” (James Frank) was raised by a multi-generational family of teachers and librarians. He spent weekends as a child in the woods while his dad read the newspaper nearby and actively ignored him. After two years of teaching in his own classroom, he decided he liked nature's classroom better. Twenty years in, after developing and managing nature centers and programs on both US coasts, he started Lure of the Wild Nature Camps in Catonsville, Maryland. The program is modeled on forest school and democratic education principles centered on free play with minimal adult intervention. When he’s not actively helping people feel comfortable enough to let their kids play by themselves, he throws copies of Dr. Peter Gray’s book Free to Learn at them like candy from a parade float.
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